During three years, I wasted my time in something I couldn’t really define -something that I still cannot define or don’t know how to refer to-. I started hooking up with this guy that I met through my job, and it felt great. Now, I’ll be completely honest: this guy had several red flags waving heavily in front of me, but I decided to ignore them. At first he was sweet, we went out to dinners, we started doing everything couples do, we were having so much fun. But time started passing and even though everything seemed good, we never actually had the talk or put a label on what we had.

This wouldn’t bother me if we had been clear from the start that we were just friends with benefits. But this is where it got even more confusing. I brought up the conversation and he stated that we were not just friends with benefits, but we were not together either. My levels of anxiety went through the roof! I was in a relationship that was not a relationship. I finally read an article by Carina Hsieh that coined the term “situationship”, it was everything I ever felt.

Now, I know it wasn’t very bright to stay for so long in this situationship, but oh well! we all make mistakes. I will tell you though: Stay away from them! They are the most emotionally draining thing you can ever get yourself into.

If you’re still wondering if you’re in a situationship, here are some of the signs that can help you figure it out:

1. You do not have a title.

2. There’s lack of communication and clarity.

3. You’re not in a relationship, but you’re in something more than a no-strings-attached deal.

4. Emotions and feelings are not conversation material.

5. You make future plans without taking the other person into consideration -because you’re not sure how they feel about future plans with you-.

6. You keep having false hope that it will become an actual relationship one day, but that never happens.

7. You’re in a constant state of anxiety.

8. Even though you’re not in a relationship, you’re probably not dating anyone else either.

9. You are attending important events solo.

10. There are no pictures of you two together.

11. You don’t let go because you have unsolved feelings and emotions.

12. You don’t go on dates anymore.

13. You can’t describe to others what you have.

14. You feel like you don’t have the right to question anything with them.

15. You feel like you’re being played.

So, if you feel like you’re in a situationship and your anxiety levels are soaring, do your self a favor: move on or have the very uncomfortable conversation, but end the ambiguity once and for all. You will feel better.